When you think of the word failure, what do you think about? For me, it's being told you're not good enough and you can't do something. Metaphorically, it's a huge, long and daunting wall that looks like it has no top and no sides. It stops you on your way and says 'choose a different path because there's nothing for you on the other side'. It sounds awful and it is but what I can say is, it's not true. I spent too long over the last couple of years thinking I was a total failure, but the truth is, is that I am a total success and more. I got exactly what I wanted but I just simply had to find another way around the wall.
If I had failed, for me it meant that I wouldn't have my dream job, my house or my dream car. It meant that I also wouldn't be the person I always wished and dreamt I would be. So when I think about my failures, there was no accepting them. I couldn't bear the thought of failing and I didn't want to be a person that gave up on all her life-long dreams. The idea of accepting my failures ate me up inside and drove me to not only overcome them but succeed beyond my own expectations. I was stubborn and I frantically looked at all my options and made a plan to see how I could still reach my goals. They were most certainly not the options I wanted, but it was all I had.
Being a near-failure led me to push myself out of my comfort zone and test my limits. It made me work harder, think better and take risks worth taking. It took me a little longer to reach my life-long goals but it also led me to bigger and better things than I could have hoped for. I couldn't have dreamt a better outcome or be happier with the results than I am now. It made me a better person, a harder worker and thankful individual for the people around me as well as for the opportunities I've been given. Almost failing was the best thing that ever happened to me because it made me a better person and more successful in the long run.
It's still a sore subject for me to talk about but it's a subject I've been wanting to talk about on my blog for over a year now because I want others to know that failing isn't the end of the road. I want to share my story and though I'm not being clear about what my failures and successes have been about, I want others to know that failures in any shape or form can be overcome and success can be driven from it.
I've written this post countless times, but it wasn't the right time nor did it have the right words. I'm so happy to finally be writing this post because I've finally accepted the situation and I can own it. It, unfortunately, caused me to fall out of love with blogging, stopped me enjoying my free time and socialising as much. I spent all my time and effort on ensuring I wouldn't fail and though my blog and free time took a toll, it was truly worth it in the end. Now that these times are behind me, I feel like I can finally get back to doing some of the things I love doing so much. I have started spending more time with my friends, I enjoy every minute I am at work, I have started to watch my favourite shows again and now I feel ready to be a blogger again. Over the last two years, I slowly lost my blogging mojo to the point where I almost quit entirely. Instead, I decided to take a well-needed hiatus and now I think that hiatus is coming to an end. I refuse to fail at blogging too!
If there's anything at all you take from this post, is that failure is not always a bad thing. Without failure, we cannot learn how to do better and improve. With failures, we can learn to never give up and prove to ourselves what we're really capable of. Failing is a good thing, really. Whether it is failing or almost failing. It can lead to a world of well-earnt success.
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